Day #1

This is an experiment. I've never really been very good at keeping diaries or journals so we'll see if a blog is any easier.

Hm.... where to start?

I'm contemplating skipping my past.
Yes.
I'll let you guys figure out more about me as I ramble. =)

I guess that means that I'm starting with the present. Well then. Right now, it is 2:34 in the morning. I am sitting in a hotel bed in.... some small town in Missouri? ha. I'm not even sure what state I'm in. My mother is in the bed to my right asleep. My sister is in a pullout sofa bed at my feet. She's 21 (22 next month). We are in the process of driving from my hometown in Kansas to Atlanta, Georgia. My mother got a job offer and we're moving her there. Oh yes. what an improvement! Escaping the hicks of Kansas to the great sophistication of Georgia! I hope sarcasm translates alright via blog.

I'm currently a Senior in High school back in Kansas and I'm on my Winter break. oh joy to the world (and other random praising). While I'm moving my mom to Georgia, I am going to be staying in Kansas. I am so ecstatic. Again with the sarcasm. We decided that instead of moving me to Georgia for the last few months before I move out and head for college, it would be easier for me to share a 3 room apartment with my sister. i don't mind that much. My dad and Grandparents might though.... they live in my hometown....and.... well... we kinda didn't give them the option of allowing me to live with any of them...

Now, being a High school er means that i get to go through the wonderful joy of college applications. I'm pretty sure that they made these applications to weed out the weak... because I feel as if I'm being weeded out before i even apply... I was always a straight A kid... for awhile....
Freshman year came and went with straight A's... then sophomore year struck. suddenly my report card starting looking more like it was trying to teach kids the alphabet. Those grades kinda.... didn't go away. I don't try anymore. Simply because I can not find a purpose for it. See, all of my problems have been caused by that pesky 3 letter word. WHY? Why do i need to learn American Government if I'm moving to Europe? suddenly i fail Gov class. Why do I need to learn Biochemistry if I'm going to be a math major? suddenly i fail Chem. Why do I need to need to do work at all? why am i here? why is mankind as a whole here?

See i have a predicament. I don't do things, if they do not have a purpose that i find acceptable. If someone told me to sharpen a pen because they wanted to write with it, I would not. I would say, "No, don't waste my time". Well, I now question whether there is a purpose behind the existence of mankind, or myself. I don't want to do my school work because I am too busy trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing here. If Mankind's purpose has nothing to do with biochemistry then doing my chem homework is a complete waste of time. and what if our purpose is null? (I was always a "what if" kid too. I remember once, i asked "what if the Earth was a giant marshmellow?" for weeks on end.)

Well, we have a long drive ahead of us tomorrow. I should get some sleep. I'm not sure how long my average post will be on here. hopefully it will be less than this?

tomorrow's blog schedule?

Music.